The “Cool Girl” monologue in 2022
I remember dying my hair, coming home from the salon and being so excited to show it off.
I also remember calling my boyfriend and telling him I coloured my hair, and as the bubbly announcement left my lips, it was returned with an “I don't like coloured hair”, I was no longer excited. I say I don't know why it mattered to me that much, but I did. Fitting into an idea was like a game to me, a sort of to-do list to be on top of and the time I ventured out, it felt horrible, it sounded like breaking all the pretty porcelain I spent so long cleaning.
Boys and their preferences have tormented me, and still kind of do - but why? I entered this world alone and I’ll leave it alone, so why get grey hair over this? It’s because of the desire to still be liked, to maintain the adoration, to maintain attention because you never know when you’re out of season. Initiation is the easy part.
Fincher’s gone girl encapsulates the performance women have to give in one scene. Siding with Amy Dunne in 2014 may have turned heads, but not siding with her in 2022 is unexpected. Her narration of female rage is accurate - female rage brews over time, shaped like a volcano it bubbles just went the faults tremor but stays cool years before, just in preparation to erupt. Maybe it's a film, maybe it’s our parents or the news - women are oddly programmed to perform and when the act’s not as entertaining, we feel like clowns on stilts desperate to win our audience back. (I say we, but I'm not sure)
Was Amy, right? Legally no, but her intentions feel so deliciously redeeming - I wanted to sink my teeth into her meticulous plans, because they felt honest, they felt like they were really hers. The women of the internet brand her as the patron saint of revenge, and truth be told I watch the monologue whenever I feel wronged and use it as inspiration for my small-scale petty revenge i.e ghosting someone or declining a call. Because there is something so infinitely brazen about her; as time goes on, her relevance only grows - it's the era of rage, and the act of compromise is over.
